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So Much Scared

from { 2005 ae } by April Ethereal

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lyrics

Bright-colored hexagons are whirling in my head
They are dancing in the rhythm
Of terrible screams
I wish it was a dream

I can't control myself
My whole world is centered on whirling hexagons
They're devouring my brain
Every cell is in flames

Now I know how it is to be alone, to be insane
I'm praying it was just a nightmare
I'm begging you to wake me up

A sudden gentle touch gets me out of this numbness
but my thoughts play a cruel game
with my senses again

I can't see anything, I'm blind, can’t scream
Your fear's scaring me
your terrified faces disappear

My thoughts are my worst enemies.
They beat my naked, poor, inflamed brain
I'm alone in the whole universe in my head
I hear millions of different voices all together and separately

So please don't leave me alone in my sick-burning mind
I'm not sleeping. Help me to open my eyes.
I answered all the questions even ones I had never asked before.
Now I know everything.
Now I know what eternity is.

So please don't ask me what I want. I belong to you.
I surrender, you know better what I should do
To stop whirling hexagons
You know how to calm down my six-dimensional world
I've been living for ages in it.
Please, I’m so afraid. Get me away from my mind.

I'm lying in the small uncomfortable bed
I'm trying to forget
Where I have been, what I have seen

I'm afraid my mad thoughts can return
I'm afraid to fall asleep

credits

from { 2005 ae }, released May 30, 2020

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April Ethereal Warsaw, Poland

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